


Not About Angels

by awkwardCerberus



Series: HideKane That Should Have Happened [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: #JustLetThemGoHome, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Season/Series 02 AU, Shironeki | White-haired Kaneki, The CCG Can Suck My Ass, They run away LIKE THEY SHOULD HAVE, guys this is so late I'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-29 00:04:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7662400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardCerberus/pseuds/awkwardCerberus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"...How unfair, it's just our love<br/>Found something real that's out of touch<br/>But if you'd searched the whole wide world<br/>Would you dare to let it go?<br/>'Cause what about, what about angels?<br/>They will come, they will go, make us special<br/>Don't give me up..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Or, another one where they both escape Anteiku.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not About Angels

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Not About Angels" by Birdy.
> 
> PREQUEL TIME. I was kinda out of ideas for another fic for this series, so, yes here we have another one of these, where they run from Anteiku (even though this has been done I'm sure a hundred other times before, here's number 101). Why is this one so very late you may or may not ask: because I am both lazy and slow. However this one did turn much longer than I would have thought

"Hide..."

In an instant, everything Kaneki had ever know fell down around him. On one of the upper floors, a fire had broken out, and the burning beams that had been Anteiku littered around him. What if he stayed here? Sitting and burning, Hide slowly dying in his arms—it would be morbidly poetic, the two of them burning in the same pyre that had reunited them a few minutes before.

He had come to terms a long time ago with what his life had become, several individual tragedies all slowly spiraling together. His only two options were dying or running, and the former was much more desirable, because at least he'd be able to be with Hide.

"Let's go home, Hide. Let's go home."

A bloodied tear rolled down his cheek, dripping off his chin and pooling on the bridge of Hide's nose.

And then Kaneki's heart almost stopped.

Because Hide smiled, and gave some quiet barely-there laugh.

But more importantly, _Hide smiled_.

That was the moment that Kaneki realized he couldn't stay. He couldn't be selfish like that, not when there was the chance that Hide could still live. Hide was the only good thing in his life, and if he was gone, then that life served no purpose. For all the times Hide had saved him and asked for nothing in return, this was the one chance Kaneki had to repay him.

So Kaneki ran.

He scooped Hide up in his arms, and he ran—jumping across balconies and fire escapes in an effort to get as far away from Anteiku as possible.

Kaneki stopped and crouched on an adjacent rooftop; he could see several helicopters begin to fan out, searching for survivors, both ghoul and human. Holding Hide closer to his chest, Kaneki leapt off the edge of the building—his kagune digging into the brick to slow their fall. He knelt down in the fresh snow soundlessly, deciding to stop long enough to check Hide's wounds.

The CCG vest was barely bullet proof and essentially useless—the Kevlar was much too thin to offer protection from a pocket knife, let alone a kagune. It was easy for Kaneki to tear through the straps, and he quickly threw it off the the side. He swore to himself as fresh blood welled up in the snow around his knees. No wonder Hide had lost so much blood, there was nothing keeping his insides together but a wad of paper napkins.

Kaneki tore at the shorts of his suit, pulling the fabric into the longest strips that he could. He had to lay Hide down to try and stop the bleeding, and with the extra layer of the vest removed, the blonde shivered in the winter air. The ghoul ran the makeshift bandages under Hide's back, tying them tightly over the mass of blood-soaked paper, his hands still applying firm pressure.

Guilt began to rise in the back of Kaneki's mind and he bent down to kiss Hide's graying lips. Apologetically, he pressed an ear to Hide's chest, listening intently for the faint, trying heartbeat. Kaneki held his breath until he heard the beat, and only when he had confirmed the blonde was actually still alive did he dare to pick him up again.

They had to avoid rooftops and open areas, but at least Kaneki was skilled at ducking through alleys. He held Hide close to him, one hand keeping the blonde's head securely against his shoulder and the other hooked tightly under his knees. Every so often, Kaneki stopped to check Hide's pulse, or to make sure his wounds hadn't worsened, but even with the frequent stopping, they still found where a majority of the emergency medical teams had gathered.

Kaneki took a deep breath; he hadn't planned this far ahead. If any of the CCG saw him he was dead, but if he just left Hide in their current position, then there was a chance the EMTs wouldn't find him. The ghoul took another step forward, and his foot hit something metal. He bent down carefully, picking up a rifle out of a snowy gutter. And he had an idea.   
  
Kaneki laid Hide down in the snow again, fitting the rifle into the blonde's hand. He placed his hand over Hide's, and lined their fingers up on the trigger. For the second time, Kaneki pressed a slow kiss on Hide's lips—a kiss full of regret, and pain, and apology.

He broke away, although no part of him really wanted to, and aimed the rifle in the air. Kaneki squeezed their fingers together on the trigger, emptying the last of the rifles magazine into the air. Immediately, a group of officers barked orders at one another, slowly advancing on the sudden gunfire. Kaneki threw the rifle out into the street, an added measure to ensure Hide was found. His hand lingered on Hide's for a moment longer before he turned and quickly fled up the side of a building.

* * *

When Hide's eyes opened, his first thought was, admittedly: _holy shit, am I dead?_ The multitude of cords, wires, and IVs in his arm, beeping machines, and the overpowering smell of rubbing alcohol quickly brought him the realization that no, he wasn't dead. The second reminder came in the form of a fresh wave of pain that was strong enough too make him groan audibly. What happened anyway?

_Yo, Kaneki._

_I knew._

_I might have screwed up...just a little out there..._

_Let's go home_.

Oh.

The sound of the window being forced open immediately drew Hide's attention away from his thoughts. Though, it was mostly because he was unaware that there was actually a window there.

Muted footsteps landed on the linoleum turned Hide back to whoever had decided to scale up nine stories to break into his hospital room. Suddenly the room smelled of old blood, sweat, and snow. A cold breeze swept into the room, blowing around a shock of white hair.

"Kaneki, what are you doing—"

It took a while for him to believe what he was seeing. Kaneki was standing in the glare of the moonlight, wearing jeans, sneakers, and a black jacket (all were bloodstained, although whether the blood was fresh or not, Hide couldn't tell). A backpack was poorly slung over one shoulder, like it had been an afterthought.

Hide could barely finish voicing his concern—although the oxygen mask on his face had probably rendered his words unintelligible—before the ghoul darted across the room. Cold, pale hands brushed the hair from his forehead and shaking thumbs stroked his cheekbones. Kaneki put a knee on the edge of the bed and bent down until his forehead was resting on Hide's with a resigned weight. It took a few moments before Hide realized that Kaneki was crying.

Kaneki kept his voice quiet, despite having to talk above his sobs, and he tried to hide his anger, "this shouldn't have happened, Hide. I should have just told you from the beginning. This is...it's all my fault, and you..."

Hide huffed out a sigh and pulled the mask away from his mouth, "Kaneki, don't. Stop blaming yourself for everything. Please."

Kaneki hesitated, then finally nodded. For another grueling minute, the room was silent, save for the beep of machines and a periodic muffled sob. Eventually, Kaneki stood up off the bed, his square shoulders set rigidly and nervously.

His voice was edged when he spoke, "I'm getting you out of here. Away from the twentieth ward, away from the CCG."

Kaneki dumped his backpack onto the end of the bed—unzipping it in a forceful hurry—and pulled out a packaged syringe and a small bottle. His hands shook as he tore at the packaging and filled the syringe from the bottle, they were no doubt stolen for this very occasion.

Hide watched with a small amount of fear as Kaneki pricked the needle into his IV and emptied the syringe, "what are you doing?"

"It's morphine," Kaneki said simply, but Hide could hear the hint of guilt behind his tone.

The blonde could feel the moment the drugs hit his system. The room went hazy, and when he looked over, there were two—three? No, two—Kanekis leaning over him. They said something Hide couldn't understand, and then the Kaneki in the middle bent down and gave him a cold kiss.

The room swam one last time, and then there was nothing.

 

When Hide's eyes opened a second time, the room was dark, and he was in a different bed (although, "bed" was a loose term; it was more of an old mattress on the floor with a few pillows and blankets strewn on top). There was no IVs stuck in him, no beeping machines, and no smell of antiseptic. He was, however, pleased to find that he wasn't in a papery hospital gown, but a pair of baggy sweatpants and an old tee-shirt.

One of his arms was flung over the side of the mattress—his knuckles brushing against the old wood floors. Something in his hand twitched, and Hide startled. His eyes trailed down his arm, and there was a pale hand curled up around his. Despite the darkness of the room, he could still make out Kaneki's shape.

The ghoul was asleep on the floor by the bed ( _Really, Kaneki? The floor? C'mon..._ ), his hand wrapped around Hide's, as though it would ensure the blonde would wake up. Kaneki's pale hair fell messily across his face. His breaths came in quiet and deep. That, paired with the dark circles under his eyes gave off the strong impression that this was the first real sleep he'd gotten in a while.

"Dammit, Kaneki," Hide whispered under his breath. He tugged one of the blankets off the end of the mattress and sloppily flung it over Kaneki, "you're gonna catch a cold like that."

Kaneki was up like a shot the second the fabric touched his skin. He went rigid, shoulders drawn back and kakugan glaring in preparation for a fight that never came. His hand had flown out of Hide's, and it was balled in a white-knuckled fist by his side.

Hide rose carefully off the mattress, kneeling in front of Kaneki. His right hand was cradling his injured left side, the other hand was held out in front of him. The last thing he wanted to do was frighten the ghoul more.

"Kaneki, it's alright," he began calmly, his hand gravitating towards Kaneki's cheek, "it's me."

Kaneki's cheek pressed up against Hide's hand like a magnet; his own hand coming up to cover the blonde's. Like this, Hide could feel the tightness of the skin over the bones—Kaneki's had once been pink cheeks, warm eyes, and soft lips, now it was all hard angles, sharp bones, and hollowed skin. The red and black kakugan flickered out like a candle in the wind beneath Hide's warm touch.

It was hard to tell how long they sat like that. The light that peered through the blinds was evening orange, a couple of cars exchanged loud honks, a door down the hall slammed.

Hide's stomach suddenly growled in the quiet room and he let out a breathy laugh, "do you have anything to eat that isn't...you know...people?"

Hide's laugh then may have been somewhat forced, but no matter what, his laughter had always been infectious. Now Kaneki was smiling, albeit weary and small, "yes, I have real food. Come on."

He pulled one of Hide's arms around his shoulders and stood them both up slowly. Kaneki made sure not to go too fast, because honestly he wasn't really sure Hide should be up and moving at all. But they made it to the apartment's tiny kitchen after a couple minutes, and Kaneki helped Hide down onto the battered old futon in the corner.

Hide watched quietly as Kaneki pulled a worn old pot from a cabinet, filled it with water, and set it on to boil. He put an elbow up on the arm of the futon and rested his chin in his hand—this really was a tiny place.

The kitchen was a refrigerator, a sink, a stove, and a couple cabinets ( _Not even a microwave...jeez, it's like being in the Stone Age_.). The only other pieces of furniture in the apartment were a small lamp, a cheap coffee table, and the futon. Everything had that Stolen-From-The-Dump aesthetic.

"What is this place, Kaneki? I never thought you were the type to go squatting."

"Anteiku had an lot of safe houses." Kaneki pulled something out of a cabinet and tore it open with his teeth; he held it over the sink as he poured in the boiling water, "this was the safest place I could think of. It's the furthest one from the twentieth ward."

Hide arched an eyebrow, "how far?"

"We're in the eighth ward."

Hide jumped, " _the eighth ward??_ That's—ow—" he pressed a hand to his injured side, his sudden surprise had tugged painful at the tender stitches, "that's on the other side of Tokyo."

Kaneki walked into the living room and handed Hide a plastic fork and a styrofoam cup, "it's one of the safest wards. And there's hardly any CCG. Now eat."

The blonde looked back and forth between the cup and the ghoul before finally stirring his food, "cup noodles...you're such a romantic," he said flatly and took a small bite.

There was a long silence between them—full of questions that wanted to be asked, but weren't, and full of confessions that wouldn't be told. Not yet.

"Why were you there?" Kaneki asked finally, the question heavy on his lips, "why would you join the CCG?"

Hide took a slow sip of broth and set the half empty cup on the coffee table (he was surprised when it didn't collapse). He shifted his weight on the futon so he was sitting cross legged and facing Kaneki.

"You went missing, I didn't know what else to do. I put a tracker on Yamori, and I was the one who called the CCG about Aogiri. And then I saw you fighting on the roof, and then you leat with them. I couldn't let you go—I didn't _want_ to—so I applied at the CCG headquarters, and crossed my fingers that I'd find something. I mean, I was a pencil pusher for months, but it's the thought that counts, I guess."

Hide took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. Kaneki had moved closer to him, their knees were touching and Kaneki had grabbed the blonde's hand at some point. The ghoul's cold thumbs were running themselves in circles across Hide's knuckles. Hide let out a short breath that could have been a laugh, although he looked ready to cry—Kaneki's heart ached in his chest, Hide never cried.

"By the time I did find you, you weren't Kaneki anymore," the unsteadiness in Hide's tone finally won over, and his voice cracked, "it was all 'Eyepatch' or 'Centipede'. There were pictures but they weren't _you_. Blowing up convoys, killing investigators, cannibalizing other ghouls—that wasn't you, Ken! And before I knew it, we were raiding Anteiku. And then I found you, half dead in an alley."

Kaneki leaned forward on the couch and wrapped his arms around Hide. He pressed his face into the warm ski of the blonde's neck and took a deep breath. A gentle hand stroked his white hair, and Kaneki jolted up to press his lips to Hide's.

That moment was everything he thought he'd lost. It was every smile, every look, every touch, every kiss he'd never thought he'd ever get again. It was the nights they spent sneaking into the park and sitting on top of the jungle gym talking in the middle of the night, it was every late night study session that became them sleeping together, it was every "I love you".

It was home.

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd so mistakes are mine.
> 
> Sorry again for how late this was.


End file.
